It's not if, It's when!

Don't dress for the ride. Dress for the crash.

This is one of our Road Captain's most often heard comments when addressing motorcycle gear. It is always followed by:

It's not if you crash. It's when you crash.

Which is always followed by,

It will happen when you least expect it.


Well, here's my version:

There I was, looking into a star filled late spring sky. A pretty lady was stroking my hand (my future step-daughter). A state trooper was showing off his dog's ability to fetch things thrown deep into the woods (while blocking traffic). In this pastoral, Norman Rockwell Setting, I'm watching my buddys lift my dream bike (Black & Chrome Electra Glide Classic) off my shattered left anckle. At that moment, I crained my neck up to check out my ride, only to have the paramedic push my head down (for my own protection). You see, I just endured a motorcycle "crash" and the guy didn't want to overlook any possible injury. I guess he was right, but I couldn't get over the irony of it all!

You see, for the past three years, I've averaged around 30K per year over a lot of different road surfaces. Dirt, ruts, mud, sandy ashphalt, etc. Oh, I've been down a few times: a deer jumped in front of me, a large tree blew down in heavy wind in front of me, and two, chemically impaired, car drivers tried to make me a hockey puck, all in the last five years. So, I've gained a bit of a reputation for knowing how to walk off, roll off, or just launce off a bike without serious injury. That's what makes this story so ironic.


At one mile an hour, while making a sharp left hand turn...........

I slid on a pile of Cow Crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently, a farmer's honey wagon had been over the road that afternoon.

Oh, and for the first time in 42 years, I broke a bone and tore ligaments.

The doc gave me the word today. Surgery is scheduled for tomorrow and I can't put weight on my foot for four to six weeks.

Looks like I be bugging my brothers for back seat time. I can't stay out of the wind that long or I will end up with permanent brain damage (banging my head into the wall).

The moral of the story is.....

Don't slide on cow pooh!

Ron